Funny Tummy!

For the longest time now we have joked about how funny Deklans tummy looks. You know the kids you see on the tv commercials from other countries with the big round worm bellies, well we always jokingly told dek he had one of those! Granted he does have a big belly , his short chubby stature aids in that but if you look closer his tummy is a bit off shape and that we learned today is from a hernia( diastasis recti).he had a belated 18month well baby check up and the Dr discovered it ( funny they haven't before) Luckily it's what's termed a "reducible" hernia so eventually after his tummy muscles become stronger and develope better it will go away! So all in all the poor guy does have a few reasons his belly looks so funny, but as his amazingly loving parents we will prob still tease him..... For a while longer anyways! It's all out of love!

Proud Moment!!

I know a day late but I'm still so very very proud. Although Keelie could have rocked ALL of her dances yesterday she did FINALLY move up to beginner 2 in one of her dances. The Slip Jig- one of the harder dances... Go figure my stubborn child had to do the hard dances first!! She has been doing feis's for a year now and always done well for how young she is but she never had enough kids in her competition to move up to the next level ( Irish dance is confusing- if u don't get it ill explain someday!!). Anyways I'm sooooo proud of her for finally doing it!! Now she's finally in the "running" !! She's been working hard and practicing a lot without being reminded- she wants that's solo dress and in due time- if she had her way like now!....... But moms way will be awhile from now..........she will get one!!! Sooo yay Keelie-  soooo proud!!

Blessings

B..L..E..S..S..I..N..G..S.  that is what my children are. I have spelled it out I can even put a definition if you would like so that maybe just maybe someday those who need to understand it will get it. Why oh why are people so selfish? How can people be that way. If you are family then for gods sake act like it. The door has been open for soooo long. The opportunity to make an effort to be there 100 percent of the way has been given over and over again. 2 children who have brought the biggest brightest happiness to my life, to my husbands life to anyone around thems lives and yet people still choose not to be a part of it. When your blood it's suppose to mean something. Apparently I've got that all wrong. If your reading this and feeling guilty then take note. It's one thing to lie to me or to will but its another to lie to my children, seriously I'd be ashamed. Can't tell you how many times we haven't been invited to something or invited at the last minute cause oopps we were forgotten about. How many times my children weren't invited or even thought of when everyone else was. They are amazing kids, such a joy to be around and it's your loss. Let me guess what your saying ... Oh but you have tried. Seriously a half assed effort ... Please just don't even waste the time. When our children don't even know you let alone ask about you, it's just sad. They see people who aren't even family at least once a week people who live 45 plus mins away sometimes even more . I won't even post how close those who don't care live to us. I could go on- prob for days but nothing I could say would be nice. The ties have been cut. Last chances were given and apparently meant nothing. We have to protect our children- it's just sad when its from your own family.




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Breath

I need a big sigh of relief, from what? Anymore I have no idea. It's not anxiety but it feels a bit that way, maybe overwhelmed..... With feelings, emotions, irritability , life! Maybe lack of control, control in what's happening around me, control of the future and even of the past.I have always been a go with the flow kind of person, suddenly I feel the need to plan. To be busy all the time, have a packed schedule of important things to do. Maybe my subconscious needs to run away for a bit. I can't control the behavior of people around me, the struggle of our "war at home" with PTSD and a TBI is my least control of all. the exhausting fight to keep my life, my love my whole world standing and complete as best I can. The tiresome role of filling the gaps from lack of care and sincere effort from people who "should" be such a vital and important role in my children's lives. It seems so endless anymore, and of course so much I'm sure I over think , over imagine, and over feel. Yet what do I do with the feelings, I bottle them and I feel worse, imploding, numb to the world. Almost heartless in a sense. I find I've delt with so many blows that my "give a damn button" has been glued, duck taped and nailed in the off switch. I've lost myself in a way, the overly caring, tender hearted, determined to be friends with the world self.

      If I choose to voice my feelings people are offended , defensive, judgmental, and I'm left feeling even worse then when I started. Hmm maybe I do still care in there somewhere. Will this always be my life? Always struggling with myself and everything around me? Always fighting the multiple personalities of the PTSD and TBI our family fights with. The door to our home, to our lives has always been open till recently. We have had to cut ties once and for all with people who continue to throw our family under the bus. Our "war at home" I fight alone . I have no support or help from outside. I do have a few people, ones who truly understand what we go through on a daily basis, but they also understand that even though they know and get it , it doesn't make it any easier. I feel family specific people should be here in every way shape and form. I have resentment in a way because I shouldn't have to face this alone and my kids are sheltered from it as much as possible.

      I LOVE my life..... The life that involves my children, my career, my home and everything to go with it. I just HATE the fight I give to keep it that way. I've never felt strong but I step back and know I'd have to be to keep going at this everyday. At the end of the day I'm left feeling hopeless and then I wake to my children's beautiful faces and I'm able to start again. The outpouring of genuine care from so many people who have recently become like family has been amazing- overwhelming and I honestly have no idea how to accept it. I get upset and tend to open my mouth and then regret it afterwards. It's so appreciated but almost embarrassing to be given the sincerity and caring. I'm rambling and most likely lost my point as my blogs usually go! So I'm  taking a deep breath, today has been a good day and I can cling to the hope that we will have more and more good days .That our lives will be full of those who truly care and someday I'll find my way again or learn to just go with it! :)

This weekends feis

This weekend June 9th is the pikes peak feis which Keelies dance school puts on. This is the closest feis to us that happens all year(being this close maybe people can make an effort to come support her). There will be no other feis's this close, all the others require an hour or more drive. Keelie will dance promptly at 8am. I can't stress that enough that if your not there by that time you will miss her dancing. It goes very fast.
The feis is located at the Bear Creek Elementary school in Monument.

1330 Creekside Drive
Monument, CO 80132

Once you're there is wont be hard to get inside and find the feis. Keelie is dancing on the yellow stage. They are usually marked pretty well.
This will be Keelies first feis dancing with the "big kids" she usually competes in the first feis category but will be competing in beginner 1 instead. There is a lot of competition and we aren't there to win just to get the experience and have fun- despite the early morning and stress Keelie loves the feis's and she also loves the support of family there. We have to be there by 7:15ish but anyone wanting to head up the same time is welcome to follow us.

Our rare entity!!

So for about 4 months now Keelie has been dealing with a very yucky rash/hives breakout. It started the day before her surgery. No Dr's appts were available at the academy so they referred us to a clinic right off post. The Dr there barely looked at her gave us a diagnosis of bed bugs told us to go by a whole new mattress and everything. Freakin jerk- the bug guys came to our house and said we had no bug issues at all.

Keelie had her surgery and in the hospital they even put her in isolation( well the nurses were forces to wear masks and gloves and gowns anytime they touched her- yet our friends and family came in and out as they please- some great isolation!) anyways they really didn't seem to concerned with the reaction instead just gave her benadryl(which helped).

The reaction gets so bad back home that we go see Keelies peds Dr. Knowing that it always works out that as soon as you get in to see the Dr the rash or whatever is gone I started taking pictures. We showed Keelies Dr the pictures and she walked us right over to Allergy. Dr Weber said it was Viral- prescribed her some new meds and away we went

2 months later we went back to see Dr Weber again. We told him its still happening- sometimes even worse then before and shouldn't it have gone away by now if it was viral. He ups her meds(Zyrtec) and gives her a new one for nighttime- aterax.

New years eve Keelie broke out in a totally different rash. Spent some time in the Er she got some good drugs and we went on our way. Followed up with Dr Weber on Monday. He this time referred us to Dermatology. What a waste that was! Well actually it was Tricare's fault not Dr Weber's, they scheduled us with a PA instead of the derm doc, which we didn't know at the time. The guy barely listened to me wouldn't eve look at the pictures and told me Keelie has eczema.  Ya freaking right- I'm no Dr but seriously, eczema does not involve welts or hives. The man went on and on about bleach baths and special body wash and whatever. I gave up and made a note to speak with her peds doc asap.

Dr Newman's (peds doc) first words were eczema doesn't cause welts I'll give you a referral for a second opinion but it will prob go to one of the children's hospitals. Referral came through and we saw Dr Tweed or as his office ladies call him Dougie Houser(sp) He's very young looking! When he first looked at the rashes his initial diagnosis was pediatric Rheumatoid arthritis- can i run the other way now?!! However Keelies physical symptoms other then the rash/hives did not match. So after a million and 1 questions, and a scratch skin test he diagnosed her with Chronic Delayed Pressure Urticaria- in English terms

Delayed pressure urticaria is a type of chronic hives called physical urticaria because the hives are caused by a certain stimulus on the body. In this case, the stimulus is pressure that's applied to the skin. The cause of pressure urticaria is unclear but it is likely to be an autoimmune disease. Cells called mast cells play an important part in the process. Mast cells are tissue cells that contain chemicals, including histamine, which provoke welting

Pressure urticaria is an uncommon form of physical urticaria. Pressure urticaria may occur immediately (within minutes) after a pressure stimulus ; however, more commonly, pressure urticaria develops after a delay of 4-6 hours after a pressure stimulus; hence, the designation delayed pressure urticaria (DPU) is used. The wheals may last for 8-72 hours. The hands, feet, trunk, buttocks, legs, and face are the most common areas affected. Lesions can be induced by a variety of stimuli, including standing, walking, wearing of tight clothes, or sitting on a hard surface


The common range of the urticaria lasting is 9 years- while I hope to god this will not be the case Keelie is at least on drugs for now that help make her comfortable and be able to be a kid! 


Delayed pressure urticaria is considered a rare entity and if you know Keelie she is def a rare entity!!

2012 Irish Dancing Schedule

A new year means a whole new Irish dancing schedule!! So as like last year, I will be posting all upcoming events & 411 here!!

1st Feis of the year-

Winterfeis- January 28

Douglas County Fairgrounds and Event Center

500 Fairground Road

Castle Rock Colorado 80104

**Keelie Will dance at exactly 8am. Not before and not after so if your coming to watch you have to be there right before 8 to see her or you WILL MISS IT.**

MORE FEIS INFO TO COME

ITS ALMOST SAINT PATRICKS TIME AGAIN!!!

Keelie Participates in all the events I will be posting
                                                      Saturday 10: Family night at Jack Quinns

 Friday 16:  

Saturday 17: Parade starts at 12 noon and runs south on Tejon 
following the parade will be a few shows and the night will end with Migintys in Divide at 6pm

Sunday 18: 6:30 pm An Enchanting Evening with Celtip Steps tickets are $10 if bought online prior to the event and $15 at the door. This is a fun way to see Keelie dance as well as watching an exciting show of Irish Dancing!

https://www.facebook.com/#!/events/273376862715819/ this is the facebook link for more info!


                                                     Monday 19_ 

Opps I've slacked on this!!

So last Feis of the year!!
Colorado Fall Feis
Fort Collins, Co /Loveland 
November 4th!!